The people have made their voices heard. There is one person that they want for Vice-President.
Hillary Clinton? Nah.. even her supporters know that if she was vice-president, an unfortunate accident would soon give her the top spot.
Joe Biden? With that hair! That voice! Why, he’s the democratic Mitt Romney! If, you know Mitt Romney ever voted on the liberal side issues.. Oh.. wait. Regardless, Joey stands for the established establishment and would take away from Obama’s message of change. (seriously, I’ve got a bucket of quarters and dimes for him if the man will just stop talking!)
Evan Bayh? Who has ever even heard of Evan Bayh? Or can pronounce his name on the first try? While a nationally unknown like Bayh(pronounced “Bay”) might help to keep Obama’s message on track, do we really want to send subliminal messages to the country encouraging them to go bomb the nearest bay? Think on that for a bit and get back to me.
Sebelius! Now there’s an option. Oh, wait, didn’t we already reject a crazy feminist? While the feminists would be happy, there’s a certain sense of irony in that decision. “Here, feminists who still want my opponent. I’ll prove what a feminist I am by choosing a woman as my running mate. Only, uh, not the one you want me to pick. Because I know better.” Yeah.. .. NEXT!
Tim Kaine. Now there’s a man that makes you want to cover your children’s eyes. Oh well, with Kaine around, Hollywood exec’s can remain comforted that if they ever decide to do a (God help us) sequel to Jim Carrey’s Grinch, there will always be a double for the Mayor of Who-ville nearby.
Folks, the point that I’m trying to make abundantly clear is that Obama only has one choice for vice-President.
That’s right. What better way to continue this absurd campaign than to nominate someone just as qualified as he is for the second-highest office in the land.
And really, is there anything that ol’ Barack *can’t* do? Why not just anoint him supreme leader potentate? He’s as qualified for that as he is for President.
Obama/Obama '08 - Because it’s not like the VP does that much anyway. “